In a world that often feels fractured, anxious, and uncertain, where can we find a reliable path to lasting joy? The Book of Joy, co-authored by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu with journalist Douglas Abrams, offers a luminous answer: joy is not just possible—it is our birthright, and we can cultivate it even in the face of suffering.
For anyone curious about the intersection of Buddhist and Christian wisdom, or simply longing for practical spiritual guidance in a chaotic world, this book is a beacon. It’s not a textbook or religious treatise, but a moving and often humorous conversation between two of the world’s most beloved spiritual leaders—men who have each known profound sorrow and yet radiate contagious joy.
In this review, we’ll explore what makes The Book of Joy such a rare and vital offering. You’ll discover its core teachings, understand the unique friendship behind it, and learn how to bring its radiant wisdom into your daily life.
What This Book Is About
The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World was published in 2016 following a week-long meeting between the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Desmond Tutu in Dharamsala, India. The timing was intentional: both men were in their 80s, aware of life’s impermanence, and wanting to offer a spiritual legacy to the world.
The book is structured around eight days of dialogue, laughter, and deep reflection. With Douglas Abrams as the gracious interviewer and narrator, readers are invited into an intimate setting where the two friends discuss suffering, compassion, and what it truly means to live joyfully. The book weaves together stories from their lives, spiritual teachings from their traditions, and contemporary psychological research.
Its tone is conversational, light-hearted, and deeply personal. The interplay of playful teasing and profound insight makes the book feel less like a lecture and more like sitting at the feet of two enlightened elders who love you enough to be honest, bold, and delightfully human.
Here’s how the book unfolds thematically:
- Days 1–2: Setting the Stage — introductions, reflections on joy, and the intention for the dialogue
- Days 3–4: Obstacles to Joy — including fear, anger, grief, illness, and suffering
- Days 5–7: The Eight Pillars of Joy — core values and practices that sustain joyful living
- Day 8: Culmination and Farewell — reflections on mortality, legacy, and spiritual resilience
Each section combines theology, personal story, practical wisdom, and gentle humor. Whether Buddhist or Christian—or none of the above—you’ll find language that speaks directly to the heart.
☸️ Core Teachings in the Book
At the heart of The Book of Joy lies the premise that joy is a skill we can cultivate, not just a fleeting emotion tied to external conditions. Here are the four major insights that form its foundation.
1. Suffering Is Inevitable—But Our Response Is Transformative
Both the Dalai Lama and Archbishop Tutu have witnessed extraordinary suffering: exile, apartheid, political oppression, and personal loss. Rather than breaking them, these experiences became crucibles of spiritual growth.
“The suffering from a natural disaster we cannot avoid,” says the Dalai Lama. “But the suffering from our own response—we can change that.”
They emphasize that mental suffering often comes from resistance—from trying to control the uncontrollable or from clinging to false expectations. But through awareness, compassion, and acceptance, we can meet suffering with grace.
This insight echoes the First Noble Truth in Buddhism and resonates with Christian ideas of redemptive suffering. Both traditions point to a paradox: that deep joy often springs from deep sorrow, when met with openhearted courage.
2. The Eight Pillars of Joy
In the book’s central chapters, the authors identify eight foundational qualities that give rise to true joy. These pillars are split into two groups:
Qualities of the Mind
- Perspective — seeing the bigger picture; stepping outside of narrow self-focus
- Humility — recognizing our interdependence and impermanence
- Humor — the ability to laugh at ourselves and not take life too seriously
- Acceptance — letting go of the illusion of control
Qualities of the Heart
5. Forgiveness — releasing resentment and blame
6. Gratitude — appreciating the beauty of the present moment
7. Compassion — extending love to others in their suffering
8. Generosity — finding joy in giving and sharing
Each pillar is explored through anecdotes, teachings, and down-to-earth applications. For example, when discussing humility, Tutu jokes about how “the Pope is not Catholic enough” in some people’s eyes, highlighting the futility of egoic righteousness. The Dalai Lama, meanwhile, confesses he’s “just a simple monk”—with a sparkle in his eye that shows he means it.
These pillars align beautifully with both Buddhist and Christian spiritual practices, showing that joy arises not from what we get, but from how we live.
3. Interdependence and Ubuntu: We Belong to One Another
One of the most moving aspects of the book is its insistence that joy is not private—it is relational. The Dalai Lama speaks of dependent origination (pratītyasamutpāda), the Buddhist teaching that all things arise in dependence upon causes and conditions. Archbishop Tutu echoes this with the African principle of ubuntu—“I am because we are.”
“We grow in kindness when our kindness is tested,” writes Abrams, paraphrasing the sentiment. “We grow in love when our love is tested.”
Joy deepens when we drop the illusion of separation. Compassion is not a burden but a wellspring of happiness. Even a smile, they say, can be a form of service.
4. Playfulness Is a Spiritual Power
Though the topics are profound, the atmosphere is often downright silly. The two men tease each other like old brothers. The Dalai Lama pokes Tutu’s belly. Tutu calls him “mischievous.” They laugh—hard and often.
This lightness is not frivolous. It is, in fact, a form of spiritual resilience. By not taking themselves too seriously, they preserve their vitality and open-heartedness.
“Laughter, joking is much better,” says the Dalai Lama. “Then we can be relaxed.”
This quality of playful wisdom is a joy to witness—and a rare model for spiritual maturity.
Why This Book Matters
The Book of Joy is not just a beautiful collaboration. It’s a blueprint for living joyfully in difficult times. Here’s why it stands out:
Accessible for All Levels
Whether you’re just beginning a spiritual journey or have practiced for decades, this book offers insights that meet you where you are.
❤️ A Bridge Between Faiths
Few books model interfaith friendship with such warmth. It reminds us that compassion transcends doctrine, and that unity is possible without uniformity.
♂️ Spiritually Grounded, Psychologically Sound
The teachings draw from Buddhist and Christian sources but also integrate neuroscience and psychology. This makes the book deeply relevant for contemporary readers seeking both soul and science.
How to Apply the Teachings
- Start a Daily Joy Practice: Each morning, choose one of the Eight Pillars to focus on. Reflect, journal, or meditate with that quality in mind.
- Use Humor as Medicine: Find moments in your day to laugh—especially at yourself. This isn’t escapism; it’s a way to lighten the load.
- Expand Compassion Outward: Begin with yourself, then extend love to others. Tonglen meditation, as the Dalai Lama suggests, is one way to do this.
Strengths and Challenges of the Book
Strengths
- Profound yet Playful: Few spiritual books are this wise and this fun.
- Real-Life Relevance: The stories are lived, not abstract.
- Universal Accessibility: No religious affiliation is needed to benefit.
⚠️ Considerations
- Nonlinear Format: The book reads like a conversation rather than a step-by-step manual. Some may wish for more structure.
- Lightness May Be Misread: The humor and banter, while delightful, might obscure the depth for readers skimming too quickly.
- Not a Doctrinal Book: Those seeking deep theological analysis may not find it here—it’s more about lived wisdom than academic theology.
Your Journey Through This Book Begins Here
The Book of Joy is more than a dialogue. It’s a living testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the transformative power of spiritual friendship. In a time when division and despair seem loud, this book offers a quiet revolution: joy as a courageous, generous act.
If you’re drawn to its message, consider reading one section each morning as a form of practice. Let the Dalai Lama’s compassionate clarity and Desmond Tutu’s exuberant love guide your day. Pair it with silent reflection. Or laughter. Or both.
“Ultimately,” says the Dalai Lama, “our greatest joy is when we seek to do good for others.”
That is the invitation of this book—to live joyfully not despite our sorrows, but through them, and beyond them.
Related reading suggestion:
If this book speaks to you, you may also enjoy Boundless Heart by Christina Feldman or Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh—books that similarly bridge daily life with timeless spiritual truths.
